Tangibility and God’s Peace

You know all these memes, quotes and funny jokes people are constantly sharing on social media? Well, I love most of them! Sometimes one of those messages can brighten up your mood instantly and sending it to your friends and family is half the fun! I remember the time I sent one of these memes to my cousin Keisha (Yes, I think I will write about her A LOT!). I sent her this:

She laughed and told me: Omgggggg te tengo que contar something similar que me pasó babyyyy {omgggggg baby I have to tell you about something similar that happened to me}

She then proceeded to record a voice message of 4 minutes and 18 seconds long in which she described to me a very tangible experience she recently had with God. I wish I can share more details with you, but for now I will say that it was real and she was ecstatic about it.

I was instantly jealous. But the good kind. I even told her and she laughed, of course. You see, I have always wanted to experience moments like that with God and I felt that I was doing something wrong in my life that God was not choosing me to talk to me the way he did with her. This is not true. And I learned this over the span of several months.

Last year was a very hard year for me. I had been working at the University of Puerto Rico at Cayey for many years and in 2017 due to different reasons I decided to resign from my job and move in back with my parents. From the moment I made that decision my life completely changed. I experienced a spiritual awakening and my relationship with God grew greatly. During that time I longed for tangible experiences with God. This might seem silly or unreal, but I wanted that. I actually wanted to see God.

As I thought about what to write for this post, I began to remember my experiences during 2017. That took me back to that time when Keisha told me her story. Even though I have yet to experience that type of tangibility, I know this: God’s presence has been tangible in my life. God has unique ways of working with each one of His children and mine is in my quiet time with Him by keeping a Prayer Journal and through my dreams (more deets on this coming soon!) Most recently, God’s tangibility became known to me in the peace I encountered during my cousin Keisha’s funeral and burial. Don’t get me wrong, I hurt, I cry, I am still grieving. I can’t even imagine the pain my uncle, her siblings and her mom are undergoing now. I can’t even conceive the fact that just recently I received the news of another death on the family. But I know that the way I am managing this moment in my life comes from God and from my own experiences dealing with anxiety. In the midst of confusion, I feel light, I feel harmony, I feel reconciliation. I feel peace.

Last year I learned that I don’t have to see a burning bush, or feel someone literally touching me to feel God. All I have to do is close my eyes, reminisce on the miracles he has done in my life and smell his fragrance around me.